DONE THAT

remnants of open air stage

My take on the Big Chill is in this Saturday's Guardian. I am dyslexic and write slowly. Hence I have not worked on this diary while writing the Guardian copy. I am about to drive to Gloucester to collect a young Australian law student who is visiting her grandmother here in Colwall. This done, I will get to work bringing both my Blog and this BIGCHILLDIARY up to date. Meanwhile here is a pic taken yesterday - good-bye Open Air stage...

BIG DADDY

My four sons, wonderful wives, glorious grandchildren, delightful girlfriends and just friends have all been staying or bathing or dropping by for breakfast during the Big Chill.
What they enjoyed has given me a wider than personal take on the Big Chill. I am about to try reading my notes so this is good-bye for a while...

THAT WAS THE BIG CHILL

All over bar the writing - so here I sit back home and face the screen that dominates! 1500 words on Katrina Larkin's festival is due on the Guardian travel editor's desk by dawn on Thursday for this Saturday's Travel section. Please don't hate it. And there will be video on the Guardian's web site of Katrina and I. You can watch and listen to me philosophising - OK, being pretentious. I know, no need to tell me - the Resident Teenager (once he gets out of bed) will do that...

CAMPING

Camping is an unsuitable occupation for septuagenarians. Bernadette and I shared my tepee last night, cold, uncomfortable and a long way to the toilet. Our tepee was directly behind a row of gleaming air-conditioned Airstream trailers. Airstreams are camping with nail polish.
Only fools, masochists and the inexperienced criticise comfort...

BIG CHILL IS SIMPLY GREAT

I am shattered but having fun. Glorious weather, great music, a multitude of eccentrics, manic events and friendly people...BLISS!

I AM A ZOMBIE

Aged 76, I am near to death. Thursday night I joined the ranks of the un-dead. Is this a promotion or a demotion?
Either way, it was FUN.
4000 zombies in a zombie movie directed by a Hot Dog.
This will be the worst zombie movie ever made - and the funniest zombie movie ever made.
We Brits are unique in reveling in the truly bad.

ZOMBIE NIGHT

It is here...THE BIG CHILL.
The family is congregating. Two youngest have gone to set up camp at Eastnor.
No. 1 son and family are staying in our cottage.
Had dinner last night with Katrina Larkin. She and I meet this evening at 5.30 for zombie make-up. My granddaughter, Emily (three months), is editioning as the youngest zombie. Will I be the oldest?

WHY WOMEN ARE MORE FOCUSED THAN MEN

rewind to the pic of james taken from the same place

In watching the rapid spread of The Big Chill fast across the Deer Park, I am continually reminded of a military operation. I am connected to last night's dinner guest (he of the portable loos) through our both having served as junior officers in the same cavalry regiment - I more than fifty years ago while our guest left the army recently and served with the Regiment in Iraq. The Big Chill is a new client for his Company. He is impressed by the efficiency and calm and politeness displayed by the Big Chill's General Staff. He also remarked that all the General Staff were women.
Bernadette responded that women are naturally more focused and therefore less hysterical than men - being focused leaves them more time to dress up and buy shoes.

SHIT SAHIB

The elderly surprise me. I was talking with an neighbour yesterday (in her mid eighties). She had spent time in India during her youth. I mentioned that we had the supplier of portable toilets for the BIG CHILL coming to dinner. She remarked that he must be the Shit Sahib - his employees are Shit Wallas.
Well, well...And whatever.

LAZYBONES

both main stages near completion

In truth, I was exhausted last night - hence not putting the pics on the BLOG. I finished working on a long piece for the Guardian at 2 in the morning and was back at my desk four hours later. Plus going to Eastnor and shopping for the BIG CHILL weekend. All four of my sons will be here plus wives, children, girlfriends. Better cook ahead and freeze. I am sneaking a microwave into the house - Bernadette believes that that they leak rays - as Thurber's Aunt believed that electricity leaked out of unused wall sockets. As with Religious Faith, this isn't something over which one can argue with a believer.
And we'd invited the Shit Sahib to dinner. I cooked packets of trout fillet layered with smoked salmon and baby spinach. So, yes, shattered. Two bottles of good Rioja Alta Reserva came to my aid...

SUNSHINE IN THE MORNING

7 a.m. looking from our garden across colwall cricket field

Makes for a lovely day. I have been up since 6.30 - mostly worrying. I am yacking about my journey through the Americas at the Big Chill on Sunday at 3.30. Will anyone want to listen? If so, will some of them want signed copies of Old Man On A Bike? How many copies should I order from HarperCollins?
And how do I ban the Resident Teenager and his fearsome friends?

ESSENTIAL SUPPLIES

advance party for the first aid center

I am a Festival Virgin. What do I pack for the Big Chill? I guess the same as I do for a journey round the Americas by motorbike and the same as I will pack for this winter's exploration of India: ample heart medication, clean underclothes and a washbag.

SUN DANCE

from the aerial

Hey to all you Happy Revellers. Live up to your responsibilities. Support the Big Chill. Go outdoors right now and do a Sun Dance.

DAY SIX

Overcast and a light drizzle this morning - not a worry. Work progresses on schedule.

DAY FIVE - BATTLE FLAGS

Here is an statistic for Happy Campers to ponder whilst seated on the can: the Big Chill produced one hundred and four thousand gallons of sewage last year. This year the festival has 800 porta-toilets on site, 20 toilets for the disabled, 60 urinals. The sewage will be trucked to the Severn Water processing plant at Netheridge, Gloucestershire...

FOUR STAR

four star general with her executive aide

A real General would have a staff of fifty ready to salute - plus a couple of warrant officers and a couple of clerks to do the brain work...So why is Caroline so calm? Confidence in her ability gained through experience? Probably...or is she calm by nature?

VICTORY ASSURED

from the radio aerial

across the lakes

I take pics each evening from these same two points as proof of progress. This has been a great day. Green toilets stand in rows by the roadside, aluminum mat snakes out across the grass, marquees grow everywhere. Believing in the Big Chill no longer requires faith. Victory is assured. Caroline and her staff are on the march. I got out of bed this morning in a real rage. Why is on my main BLOG. Now I feel great. Katrina Larkin arrives Saturday. Next week is going to be wonderful adventure...

DAY FOUR

proof positive

I have been sitting in our garden, five miles from Eastnor. Joy of joys - sunshine and a drying breeze...

LOOKING GOOD

from up by the radio aerial

Look where you will and work is in progress. The Big Chill will be ready on time - that's a promise. You can trust me. I'm not a Politician.
Equally important, I have consulted with three of my fellow Herefordshire Oldies. Our various aches and pains are on the ebb, a sure sign that the weather will be great. Or would you rather trust those whippersnappers at the Met Office...

DAY THREE

The drizzle has finally stopped. I watch awhile. The Deer Park should be chaos. Trucks and machinery and Landrovers seem to strew a trail of workmen in yellow slickers. Yet there is order to all this. The Festival Manager, Caroline, must be some sort of genius. Were she in the Military, she would be a four star General - in the US Army. The British Military are suspicious of women...